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Self-Care Tips That Are Greatly Needed for Baby Boomers

aka: The Sandwich Generation

What do I mean by the sandwich generation?  Simply put, the sandwich generation is the baby boomers. Our parents kind of had us younger, so our parents are getting older, and then we had children in our younger days. So we’re having an older generation of children with our grandchildren, and often taking care of parents and children with grandkids. And sometimes we are actually raising the grandkids or even the great grandkids.

I wanted to come to you and talk to you a little bit about the topic of self-care tips that are greatly needed for baby boomers because it really has impacted me and my life, in the last eight years. We lived close to our parents. We lived actually around the corner from them. They live right around the corner, and we lived on the other side, so our fences actually joined together. Now, one of the cool things about living that close to your parents is that your children get to grow up with their grandparents. I grew up with my grandparents, and I was especially close to my grandmother. My grandmother just lived right up the hill from us, until her last days when she went into a fellowship house. I saw her every single solitary week, and I just adored her. She was my rock. Your parents are essential in your life, of course, because they’re you’re parents. But your grandparents play a huge role in your life too. They are your, what I always would call, your “safety net.” I could always go to my grandmother and tell her anything, anything that I ever wanted to say to her. Things like how I truly felt about what was going on in the household, or my parents, or whatever. And I knew she wasn’t going to say a word to my parents. She just would advise me and give me all of her little wisdom. Honestly, I just adored her. And when she died, I was 31 years old. It was about a year after I had my son Chad, and she passed very peacefully in her apartment. And it was just devastating to me. It was absolutely devastating. My mom had been her caregiver, which was very strange because my mom is the baby daughter. She’s not the oldest. And I think that’s because we lived so close to her.

So it was really emulated to me, that you are to take care of your parents. The same thing happened with Mike’s parents. His dad is in Ohio, and our relationship is not as close as what we would like it to be. But his mom lived right here for a while, although, now she lives with his sister. When we marry we marry into the family, and their parents become ours. Anyhow, I started helping my mom with my dad probably over the last eight years before he passed almost three years ago, and I was helping her with him because he had a stroke.

My point is, you just don’t realize what you’re doing on a day to day basis. You’re doing your kids. You’re doing your grandchildren. You’re doing your parents. You have a life. You’ve got your husband. There’s so much going on! And you kind of forget to take care of you. Hence my topic of Self-Care Tips That Are Greatly Needed for Baby Boomers because that’s what happened to me.

I kind of forgot about me. I got lost in the sauce. And you really do have to remember that you cannot give back unless you’re taking care of this temple here, so, so important. So as I just said this is where my topic comes in: Self-Care Tips That Are Greatly Needed for Baby Boomers. There are things I want to remind you about with regard to self-care, especially when you’re dealing with older parents, and you’re having to take care of them. You have a marriage, and then you have children and grandchildren that you’re also helping and taking care of.

My reminder to you is, don’t get lost in that. Don’t get lost in all of it, all of the chaos that can come from that. You do have to take a step back. And sometimes you really do have to say, “No. I’m not going to be able to do that because I need to have some time for me.” And it’s not selfish time. This is the time that you actually need to regroup. And if you don’t regroup, you just burn out completely. Then you get resentment and bitterness and some root causes that go to the heart. This causes you not to be the person that you’re supposed to be, that God created you to be. And so we have to remember that, that self-care is just really, really important.

6 Self-Care Tips

That Are Greatly Needed for Baby Boomers

1. Reading

One of the things I realized when I took a take a step back from was that I had stopped reading. I am an avid reader. I mean, I have four or five books at a time. I love to read. But, I was not reading anything. I didn’t have time even to open a book. Or, I would start a book and never get back to it. I love learning and just putting a whole bunch into this brain, as much as I possibly can. And so that was one of the essential things that I was missing.

2. Church Fellowship

I also was missing my groups at church, my small groups, and my women’s groups, and connecting with those outside of my family. That was really important to me, to join back into the community, especially for the women. I really needed to have some women in my life. I had let some of my mentors go. I just wasn’t touching base with them. I kept saying, “Hey. I’m good. I’m good.” But, I wasn’t good.

3. Meditation and Prayer

From the time you get up to the time you go to bed, you’re just going. You’re going, going, going. There’s never any downtime. It’s just like, wow. How am I going to do all of this? You’re not going to do all of it. And if you try to do all of it, you are going to suffer. And your health is going to suffer. And mine did, I gained some weight. And I wasn’t feeling good. I wasn’t sleeping right.

4. Health

I had to get back to just the basics with my health. I just really had to go back to eating clean and green and making sure I was hydrating, making sure I was exercising. Exercising is really important to me. I think that’s something that I use as a stress reliever, so it’s super important to me to have the exercise. I needed to dial it down. I was actually doing exercise that was no longer productive for me. I was actually over-exercising, which was actually hurting my body more so than just not even exercising if that makes sense. I wanted to make sure what you’re doing is really something you really enjoy, that’s something you’re doing. One of the things I need to do was focus on getting back to hiking with my husband. We hadn’t been hiking because I was doing a lot of running around and taking care of and trying to help my mom. And we were missing out on some of that, so I had to dial it back.

5. Time With Your Spouse

My husband and I had to come back to our date nights because we really enjoy our date nights. And I was like, “Wow. We’ve got to make time for that.” We’ve got to make time to do the date nights and to really enjoy one another. So that was very, very important.

6. Ask for help

Every once in a while we need to be honest and say, “Hey, I need some help here. I need some support. I need you to hold me accountable and make sure that I’m actually doing what I need to be doing to take care of me. “ If I can’t take care of me first, then I can’t give back to others like I’m supposed to be doing. We’re all here to serve, and we’re here to help one another, but especially our family members. You will have frustrating times with your parents. You don’t get to pick your parents. They are your parents, and they are who they are. They’re going to make mistakes. Your parents are also going to do things that you’re going to say, “I will never do that with my children.” And then you’ll find yourself doing it with your children. But, they are your parents, and they did the best they could, and you are doing the best you can. And throughout it all is love.

I’m hoping this is some inspiration because I do not regret ever, ever, helping my mom with my dad. I don’t regret doing what I’m doing now for my husband, who has a serious health condition. I’m not regretting anything ever about what I’m doing. I want to make sure that I honor both my parents and my husband and my children because I think that’s just so important. I believe God actually put us here to make sure that we take care of each other, and we do it in a very respectful way.

In conclusion, I wanted to let you know I am a real person. I do have real issues. I have a real family that has real family issues, and so I’m here to tell you that you just do the best that you possibly can, and make sure you stay the course. That’s important. Make sure you keep the course. If you ever need anyone to help you, or pray with you, or to give you any advice whatsoever, I am here for you, so just post below and say, “Hey, hey, hey. I’d like to reach out to you.” I’ll be like, “Hey. That’d be cool. Let’s connect. Let’s chat for a few minutes or whatever.” I’m just here to serve, so I just wanted to let you know that. Having an awesome, on purpose day today.

What are ways of self- care you have implemented? Are you a caregiver to loved ones? Share below!

~Susan

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